Sequestered

The yuppies are in the next room

Singing songs they fancy enchanting 

They could bore a tick to death

I want more. More than this little room

I want to pour the world like a bowl of tomato bisque 

spinkle something here and there

spices from the rack

drink it up like chai tea

If there is something profound here 

Explain it, otherwise let me float

Come apart from the ground and drift

The singing fools have finally left the kitchen and I rest in my silence

Only for a while in your absence

When you're gone it's the only time

I hear my voice. It's the only time I see

You never sing, you never dance

You wear a cold smile 

Some part my heart died when I met you. 

I knew I that your chains had found my wrists.

It isn't because you are mean

It is because you are numb. So numb that it makes you stupid 

Your sad little parents never taught you to feel. So you followed behind them with a tight fist. Holding back the earth quaking noise

The feelings are all lost now, you've sequestered them and now you can even see the surface. 

Poem

I cast you out every time

Spit you up in the molten

Puss from a volcano

I am the cannon

And the sinking ship

All I can see is my hollowness

You try to fill me with devotion

yet there are too many holes

A Pearl eyed, sullen, swept

I drift from bank to bank

I didn't eat today

I wanted to see how long

I could stand the hunger

until the sun came up

I know there are those

who don't choose it but

they feel it all the same

until the sun comes up

I feel my legs in water

I wade through the lake

back to something

but I always seem to float back

to my island in the middle

I want to get something done

to be like you, to keep walking

even when your feet sting

I look into the eyes of those

who I think expect something

but they don't want nothing

but a nod 

I am hard pressed against myself

caught between love and loathing

The child in my heart shows her face

only so often 

Its hard to draw her out

There was once someone 

carefree who loved to entertain

now she is hiding behind

a slow and still face

That looks at the floor most days

afraid to meet your gaze

Its not that I don't like you

I'm just shy

I'm hard pressed against myself 

caught between love and loathing

the child in my heart shows her face only so often

Its hard to draw her out

rainbow river

A7       E
Trying not to think too hard
about all that is outside of me
because if I cling to it all
I'll be in pieces

A7       E
The river of my soul
is fluid and sweet
But you will find life's debris
caked along the banks

A        E
Oh how do I decide
what to keep
and what to put aside
will these memories
stay or die
G     A
Cause I'm tired


A7      E
You say you want to leave the world
that the sickness has done you in
cyclical and sad as it is
the worst is in your eyes

where is the mercy you cry
into the the very of black night
the response is quiet and shy
G     A
and full of stars

I wanted to believe'
I wanted to believe
2x
in the night

Ur eyez

sometimes I see
Into your life
before you met me
and I'm taken with all

The beauty you've found
in lands that I've never seen
we are driving through
the foggy hills of wyoming

and my soul is taken far
from my body as we travel
down the road

I want your eyes
I need your eyes
I want your eyes
for myself love
all for my self
All for myself

I know it might seem
selfish but I can't see it any
other way

I surrender to the dance
of my heart
I'll keep you
and that is all

chorus

Let the banjo live

Today is November 9th

I am yet again sitting at Alex's house. We just saw a beautiful film today called interstellar. I keep getting distracted by facebook. Its sunday night. I don't really feel like going out. I just got a new job at a fine dinning restaurant. I have a feeling I am going to hate it, but hopefully it will pay off. The last time I worked was Saturday which was their busiest night so far. The key for me will be to not getting stressed out.


The moon was so full
I felt it in my teeth
She put a hold on the sky
and lit the ground beneath

The ape and the angel
walked slow and softly through
A sleeping neighborhood
As the sky turned from black to blue

You thank yourself for seeing
the inexplicable road's end
You traveled past the night
until you met the sun again

Was the twist in indecision
a chemical poem on the brain's slate
Or was it a ghost from somewhere far, but close
Thats directed divinely accurate

So sleep in your ignorance
wait for a glimpse once and awhile
of shadows unseen
that override ration's denial

The sheep will run from the dogs
but you can fallow the lady's red scarf
she bares a secret
that you hear every time you start

To let the banjo live
as sings from your hands
in a field of wheat somewhere
that sways with each
sweep across the land

As such, I'm trying
trying to be. Trying to fill
trying to fold myself into something
something I have constructed
something that I will never fit inside
I designed it as such
I took a silliouette of something
interpreted outside of myself
like a cookie cutter frame
and I a blank plot of doe

I am independent of you 
beast by and by
I hear your critique
I hear everyone's critique
I've been told
that they are useless
the opinions and expectations
put on by others
only holograms
bars of smoke
I am learning to live my life
with my head turned towards something
a Mountain held
by the light of the closest star
My ear turned away from the iron mouth
I'll smile at them and move
forward with my steps
my legs at a constant
push towards the scene
in the woods that are dark
and ever gracious,
with unconditional acceptance